Touched...

"If I haven't told you recently that you are amazing, I am telling you now. Love, can't wait for Thursday to come!" These were the exact words that hubby posted on my wall on Facebook and I was shocked when the notification came in on my iPhone last night. For a man who needs my constant probing to tell me he loves me, this gesture was indeed rare and very precious to me, especially on a public social website! After 5 mins, he deleted that message though...realizing that the whole world could see it. :) When I showed it to N, she commented "Wow! Is daddy playing Truth or Dare?" Hahaha. But I was touched as I knew that he meant every word he wrote and the message brought tears to my eyes.

Down with flu and cough

I am down with flu and a bad cough for the 1st time since the pregnancy. I guess I am really tired, especially these 2 months since I came back home...have been flying around and working really hard. The doctor has given me 2 days MC and I figured that it's a good time to take a break, bond with my mum a bit, recharge myself and prepare for another busy festive season of dongzhi, X'mas, New Year, my birthday, then Chinese New Year and finally the arrival of our bundle of joy!

Received the good news of D's posting at 6:40am via SMS from MOE. He got posted to Tanjong Katong Secondary School Express and it's just 5 mins walk from our new place. Hubby is an old boy from the same school and he's proud that D made it. So many old TKSS boys in the family!

16 down and 2 more to go

Over the weekend, I have taken the final exams to the 16th subject of my MBA while hubby took his last 2 final exams in school. Hubby is done, completed his MSc in ISM and he is ready to embark on another new chapter of his career life, which is to come back to Singapore and try to find another job and/or do his own business. Meanwhile, I have 1 more final exams and 1 final project to complete my MBA in Jan 2011.

Well, all on schedule and I am happy that hubby is coming back to join me here in Singapore soon. We will also be welcoming our baby boy into this world in Mar 2011! And in 2 days, D will be getting his secondary school posting results and I am really anxious for him. Come 2011, D will be a full fledged teenager and I will also be reaching the big 40! N will also be sitting for her GCE 'O' levels exams end of 2011 which will more or less determine her future path. The past decade has gone by so fast! I wonder if the next decade will be faster...

Anyway in just 10 more days, we will be counting down to 2011 and a brand new start to our lives together as a complete family in Singapore. Thank God!

@ 27 weeks

Asked if there's anything I hate about my pregnancy, it's the terrible heartburn that I am experiencing everyday. I have heartburn after breakfast, after lunch and especially after dinner! I had a wonderful dinner last night which ended around 9pm but I was still suffering from this terrible heartburn at 3am in the morning! It's driving me mad! I hate it! I cannot lie down at all and even when I sit up, I couldn't get rid of it.

In the office, I sound like a giant frog and it's really embarrassing. And I hate that I am not given an office room in this damn Japanese company. Why do all the Japanese company like to have open-concept offices? What is so good about everybody being able to hear everybody else's coonversations? And not to mention everybody else's yawns, coughs, sneezes, nose-blowings, burpings, head-scratchings, farts, etc...*sigh*

My wishes for 2011:

1. Have a smooth delivery.

2. Get my MBA cert.

3. Find another job, preferrably with an US or European MNC.

Baby @ 26 weeks!

I have been back in Singapore for almost 2 months now and baby and I are doing fine except that I have grown quite uncomfortably big! I have put on 15kg! And baby is only a little short of a kg...He is normal size for his gestation age. I am guessing that he will be 3~3.5kg at full term.

I made a call today at the Singapore Cord Blood Bank to tell them that I intend to donate my baby's cord blood. The lady on the phone thanked me and asked me some questions regarding my health and my husband's health. They will call me up again when I am about 32 weeks and they will do a 45 minute counselling with the both of us and ask for further particulars. Anyway, I have read up all the clauses on their website and have decided that it's a good deed to donate our baby's cord blood to those who would need it.

20 weeks scan photos

3D scan photo

2D scan photo

Went for a detail scan today and everything is fine with the baby. This boy was moving so much during the scan that the doctor had quite a hard time capturing his face. LOL

Glad to go home!

I received my paycheck for September today and realised that I have been hit by another invisible pay-cut. I have a large portion of my Hong Kong paycheck transferred back to Singapore each month and for the past 5 years, I have taken a 28% pay-cut due to the falling Hong Kong Dollar. And over the years, I have had only a 10% raise! This is ridiculous and I am glad that I will be leaving this lousy city and going back home in 2 weeks. My new salary will be paid to me in Singapore Dollar and at the present rate, I will only be taking a HKD4,000 pay-cut. This is really a good deal as I do not have to pay rent anymore and I will have better fringe benefits in terms of annual leaves! And I will be entitled to 3 months of maternity leaves and other baby bonuses as well! The only worry is that I will be taking a new position and I am not sure what is expected of me...

16 weeks

Today is Mid-Autumn Festival and I am in week 16 now of my pregnancy. Went to see the gynaecologist for the last time in Hong Kong last evening and she did a scan, so now the baby's head is 3.4cm in diameter and the thigh bone is about 2.2cm long. The head is still proportional bigger than the rest of his body at this stage. He was moving a lot during the scan, even the gynaecologist laughed at his movements. I think we saw him did a somersault in there! Anyway, the baby is doing well and I am also feeling much better.

15 weeks 5 days

The office staff are getting suspicious about now...I am definitely getting rounder at my middle and they have also noticed that I have not worn high heels for the last 3 months! It didn't know that I get so much attention! So, today I wore the highest heels that I own to work. ;p I bet they will be wondering if I have just grown fat instead.

I have started to feel the baby move inside me, usually small movements but twice I felt a really hard kick on my tummy from inside! Once was when I cuddled Cookie in my arms and I felt a really hard kick on my right side. Then the other time, I felt it on my left side when I was having steamboat dinner with W and his wife.

Oh yah, W & P gave me a Hello Kitty Mahjong Set to bring home to Singapore! Pretty! It's the Singapore version, with the 4 animals too! The latest addition to my Hello Kitty collections! :)

The date is set~

Yes, the date of my home-coming is set. I will be flying back on the 10-10-10 to start a new episode of my life back home. I chose this date hoping that everything will be a perfect 10 for me just like the date. :)

Being away from home for more than 5 years have not been easy but I think going back is not going to be easy too. I am apprehensive, especially when I am not in the best physical shape now to take on new challenges. Hubby is worried too as he will be quiting his job here in Hong Kong and going back home. He will have to start looking for a new job and start over entirely. In this sense, I am lucky as I am already secured with a job and I have established myself in this company too.

I am more worried about living with my mother-in-law and mum actually. I have not stayed with old folks for the past 10 years! I have always had my own place and space! Furthermore, my mother-in-law is afraid of dogs and my mum is fussy about cleanliness. I doubt both of them will welcome my darlings and I am sad. And the baby will be arriving in March! So many changes to my present lifestyle! We need another small studio for ourselves!

"What is my plan?"

I received a call from the HR Manager in my Singapore office telling me that she heard that I will be going back and she asked me what is my plan. I thought that it's such a funny question. My boss has told me that the HR will contact me regarding the details but she called to ask me instead. So I told her that I need an official letter from HR telling me my date of return, my new position, title and salary package. And also how much time will I be given to pack up and how much luggage allowance will I be entitled to. She could not answer me and told me that she will have to check with HQ. *sigh* Oh well, but at least I know for sure that I will be going back now that the Singapore office has confirmed it.

I have told two of my closest colleagues that I will be going back in October and they told me that rumours are spreading already. As my boss has requested for 5 seats for my division, many of them are guessing who will be the other 4 seats, what will my division be in charged of and and who will be working for me, etc. On the other hand, I am more concern if I will get used to the work environment in Singapore. To be honest, I have enjoyed my work here in Hong Kong for the past 5 and a half years. Other than the Japanese GM that I will need to give face to, no other locals can boss me around. It will be quite different back in Singapore...

There's quite a lot that I will need to do, especially for exporting my dogs back to Singapore. They will need to do a blood test for rabies and some other medical and physical checkups at the vet. And the total costs to export both of them back will come up to around HK$20,000+ for door to door service. And I also have loads of clothing and shoes and bags and kitchenware and miscellaneous stuff to bring back!

I am going HOME~

I just came back from a discussion with my boss at HQ last week and it's been decided that I will be going back to Singapore. It's a request finally fulfilled after negotiating with him for the past 2 years. The truth is, there is really no place for me back in Singapore and the company is only going to expand its business in China and reduce businesses everywhere else. So what's the point of me going back to Singapore? Honestly speaking, career-wise, there's really no reason for me to go back. I am really much better off here in Hong Kong and China. But I have the baby to consider and my whole family is still back in Singapore! So what is more important? Career or family? I would say family as I can jolly well find another job back in Singapore even if they don't let me go back.

I have to say that I am appreciative of my boss. He has gone quite out of his league to create a position for me back in the Singapore office and even negotiate for a rather good salary package for me. Although the amount is still not what I had hoped for, I cannot complain much. However, I am a little apprehensive about my new position as it is a "forced-out" position. I am suppose to take on a role as a regional logistics consultant and help 4 warehouses improve their workflow and efficiency. All these warehouses have been functioning for the past so many years without such a position advicing them, so why the need now? And they have to pay for it! Maybe I am one person who really doesn't believe in consultants, but I think I am going to be quite redundant. Anyway, there's no official jobscope and job description for me yet. And I will have to take it a step at a time. I hate it when I am not in the upperhand position to negotiate...

13 weeks 5 days

I am officially in my 2nd trimester and I am suppose to be feeling much better, right? Well, I am feeling better than a couple of weeks ago but I am still feeling sleepy and fatigue easily during the day...and I still have a metallic taste in my mouth most of the time.

And I am thinking of a holiday already...it's been like a long time since I last had a holiday and I would really like to go somewhere like this picture here.

Oh, how I wish I can just go somewhere and do nothing at all for a couple of weeks or so...

It's a BOY! (13 week)

Went for the OSCAR test today and had a very detailed ultrasound scan at the clinic. Could see the baby's nose, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes and the "thingy" between the legs. (^-^) Yes, it's a big "thingy" comparing to the rest of the baby's body and hubby was terribly excited by it. However, the doctor said that it will become proportionally right when the baby is fully grown. We could also see the baby's heart, the brains and even the stomach. And the baby was moving quite a lot, kicking his legs, moving his hands around and playing with his fingers. From the scan, everything looked good and I am quite sure that it's going to be a healthy baby. After the taking my blood for further tests, we went for lunch and hubby called his mother to tell her the good news. And she said it's God sent. Yeah, it's God sent and I am grateful. Just hope that I will carry the baby to full term and smoothly deliver a healthy baby at the end of it.

11 weeks 5 days

I had my final exams on Marketing Strategy over the weekend and it was my 14th subject. I regretted to have procrastinated till the last 4 hours before seriously starting on my paper. I submitted just 2 minutes before the deadline! I didn't have time to check through and I forgot to update the contents table...Anyway, I was so tired on Saturday that I slept most of the day away. I have 4 more subjects to go and I am hopeful to finish the whole MBA course by Jan 2011, just in time before the baby arrives in March.

I couldn't sleep very well last night, just couldn't get into a comfortable enough position...and my tummy is not even big yet! This morning, I have a metallic taste in my mouth and I feel very tired still. I wonder when will all these unpleasant symptoms wear off? I will be having a detail ultrasound scan next Wednesday and I can't wait to be able to "see" the baby again. Keeping my fingers crossed that the baby will be fine and will not have any risk of having down syndrome. God Bless Please.

Pianist Liu Wei(from Chinese talent show) eng sub

This is amazing...I am so touched by this young man. Lost both his arms in a freak accident when he was 10 and have been using his feet instead for all the things he does and he does them so well! His performance was spectacular! Even if it was the only tune he could play, it's still amazing! My son should be ashamed of himself for not practicing on his piano!

Om Sai Ram. I am grateful for all that I have and I will not complain for things that I don't have anymore, I promise. Thank God, please continue to bless me and my family and show your Grace to all mankind.

CEO's visit

I had a terrible headache last evening after the business trip to Shenzhen but luckily was able to sleep it off. Went to Shenzhen for 2 purposes; 1. to interview a new Sample Clerk for my department in Shenzhen and 2. to standby for the visit of the CEO from HQ. He is our new CEO who had taken over the position from the founder of the company in April this year and he is on his first overseas trip to China and Hong Kong. The company's strategy is to expand our business in China and much resources have been deployed to China. Therefore he is here to see the progress. In my opinion, the company's strategy is not wrong but the execution is not right. They are rushing to employ many engineers and sales personnel but there is not enough manpower allocated to train them and support them. Many of these newly employed staff quit within a month or even a week because they had no idea what they were employed for! The managers in-charge of their training and orientation are just too busy with other jobs. So, we kept employing...

Nevertheless, all these "trivial" problems would not be made known to the CEO. The GMs of the Shenzhen sales office and Hong Kong sales office are hiding all these problems and only concentrating on presenting the superficial things. Things like making sure that all staff stand up and give a perfect bow to the CEO when he walks in, making sure that we have his favourite drink ready for his consumption, making sure that everybody dress presentably, making sure that the prettiest girls from Admin are tending the reception area when he arrives, making sure that a spare notebook is ready for his use in case he needs to check his web mail, etc. To the Japanese, this is showing respect to the CEO and making sure that he has the best impression. I of course followed all these "acts" and presented my department to him as best as I could.

Oh the pain on my tailbone is killing me! 11 weeks + 1 day now and I am afraid the pain is going to get worse as I grow bigger...

Going into week 11

Going into week 11 now but still very sleepy at the office...In fact, I was so sleepy yesterday that I couldn't wake up in the morning and had to go to the warehouse late...reached around 11:20am. I have been having these weird wild dreams lately. Dreamt of swimming, eating really bland-tasting foods that my MIL made for me and also dreaming of having another poodle to mate with Coffee...I would wake up in the middle of the night and when I fell asleep again, the dreams would sort of continue from where I had stopped. Funny.

I am also having this very painful ache at the tailbone since yesterday. Couldn't sit down at my desk for long, had to stand up and walk around every now and then...awkward. S gave me a link to a Pilate instructor's blog and she had a couple of exercises that pregnant women can do from the 2nd trimester, so I think I will start on that once I am into my 13th week. I think it will be good for me. I have gained 5kgs so far and my appetite is really good. So at this rate, I think I am going to be overweight very soon if I don't look after myself. I definitely don't want to be more than 70kgs at the end of it again!

Oh, the grade for my 13th subject was out, I have mananged to score another B+ which is good enough for me. My 14th subject's final exams will be this weekend and I hope to get at least another B. I am currently also studying Supply Chain Management and will start on Corporate Social Responsibility in Sep. Then if I start the 17th (Management of Services) and 18th (Capstone) subject in Oct, I will be able to finish my MBA in Jan 2011, before the baby arrives! It will be really tough but I guess if I were to drag until the baby comes along, it will be even tougher...so *sigh* I hope I will be feeling energetic in my trimester so that I can deal with it.

10 weeks

Baby is 10 weeks now and I am feeling better than a couple of weeks ago. I guess the morning sickness symptoms are laying off nicely. \(^-^)/

I dropped a bomb at my boss yesterday. No, not about the pregnancy but about my marriage. Nobody at work knows that I am married again yet as our relationship was blossomed in the office and we are kinda shy...we like to have our privacy. Anyway, I am relieved that he congratulated me and wished me happiness. I am also glad that I had taken this step to disclose to him and I will let him recover from this initial shock before I give him another bomb...about the pregnancy. I don't know how he will react to the pregnancy as I have worked for him for the last 7 years as a single working mother and he had also admitted that he had never treated me as a woman but just a colleague like any other male colleague. And he's Japanese, I don't know if he will be prejudiced against me if I have to take 2 months of maternity leave...Whatever the case, I can only keep it from everyone for the next 4 weeks or so before my tummy will be so big that it will be impossible to hide it anymore with clothes.

Hubby and I celebrated this milestone at Kimchee Korean BBQ last evening. The view from the restaurant was good and the food was not bad too. The only problem was having a group of 3 mainland Chinese women at the next table who were talking so loudly and another table of 7 nearby with 2 very noisy kids. I wish Hong Kong can be less infested by the mainland Chinese...our dinner date would have been perfect with the view, the good food and if only we could hear the background Korean pop music...*sigh*

9 Weeks and 6 Days

Baby @ 9 weeks & 6 days!

Yeah! Baby is 9 weeks and 6 days old in my tummy and measuring 2.98cm long now! For the first time, we can distinguish the head and the bottom and we could also see the arms and legs kicking/swimming/struggling in the fluid. \(^-^)/ I was so moved by the baby's ultrasound that I nearly cried! I wish I can have the ultrasound machine at home so that I can "see" my baby everyday...

It's amazing! 2 weeks ago, we couldn't figure out where was the head but could only hear the heartbeat distinctly, now it's looking like a baby should look like and has grown 2 times bigger! I am also gaining weight...62kg now. I wonder what I will be weighing at the end of the term? Definitely going to be heavier than hubby!

Week 8

Week 8 now and tummy is showing...still hiding it quite well though as nobody knows yet. ;)Feeling much better after sleeping my headache off on Saturday and managed to catch the "Toy Story" movie with hubby after his exams. It was a good movie, cried quite hard towards the end though...so touching! Am so glad that they all end up together with such a cute little girl! The movie makes me remember my toys...my Play Mobil...still in a box on top of the closet. Maybe someone else should play with them? I must have kept them there for more than 20 years! Oh my gosh!

Anyway, I am still feeling sleepy all the time at work and having a hard time reading the online study materials...I will be having another final exams in 2 weeks and yet I feel that I have not studied for it! It will be 14th subject and I am really anxious to get the rest all done with before the baby arrives. I think I will be so tired and occupied then that I won't be able to do any studies at all. Maybe I have rushed things? Maybe I should have waited until we are settled back in Singapore next year before we start the IVF process? Perhaps I should wait until I finished my studies? Oh, but I am not getting any younger by the day! I don't have time to wait until this and that! In life, there's always so many "what ifs" and so many "maybes"...

Was talking to hubby about our 5 years+ in Hong Kong and he feels that we have sacrificed too much of our family life being here. While I agree with him, I don't feel as negative as he. Perhaps it's because I am being paid much better here? Anyway, I always thought that coming to Hong Kong made us grow closer to each other and I won't forget that it also gave us the opportunity to earn some money from the property. If we were in Singapore, we would not have bought another property for investment, we would not have bought our 2 pups, we wouldn't have gone to Europe and Korea, we wouldn't have done so many things that we have done. We would have done so many different things if we were in Singapore. Anyway, I have no regrets coming to Hong Kong, as long as I make this year my last. It's time to settle back home, now that our apartments are ready for all of us to stay together happily. It's all fated, pre-arranged by God and I am grateful.

Headache again...

I had such a terrible headache this morning that I decided I couldn't go to work and took half day leave to sleep it off. The headache started yesterday afternoon during the meeting which I luckily didn't fall asleep at with the help of the "Super Lemon" candy. It got worse in the night and I couldn't sleep very well. It is still bothering me now...maybe I should take a panadol.

For the first time last night, I cried for no reason. I farted in the shower when hubby was just about to come in and the expression on his face made me laughed so hard. Then from laughing, I began to cry and the feeling of wanting to cry even more was overwhelming. So I cried and cried. Hubby thought I had gone crazy. I think it's all the hormones inside me that's making me crazy. Oh, I wish this 1st trimester will pass soon!

So sleepy...

Today is really tough. I couldn't wake up in the morning but had to drag myself out of bed and I continued sleeping in the car while hubby drove us to work. I couldn't shake away the sleepiness in the office the whole morning. I practically had to sneak a 10-minute naps in the toilet! I wish I can just sleep the whole day at home...

There will be a meeting in the afternoon...I hope I can stay awake...

Week 7

Baby @ 7 weeks - 1.45cm long!

Went for another scan this morning at the gynecologist's clinic and heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was exciting and I finally feel that it's real. I am really pregnant and I am really going to have a baby next March! I haven't been really sure that I could be so lucky and blessed. Oh thank God! Om Sai Ram!

I don't really like the gynae that I am seeing in Hong Kong though. I guess all the gynaes in Hong Kong are really not good. The first one I went to was quite old and she was clumsy with taking blood. The area where she withdrawn the blood got all bruised for almost 2 weeks! Then this doctor that I am seeing poked me so hard with the internal ultrasound scanner that it is still painful now. And when I asked her if we can know where is the baby's head and tail, she told me:"Even can tell also no use!" Damn! What kind of answer is that?! She could tell me that it's too early or something but I really don't like her attitude. Too bad I am here in Hong Kong and I cannot see Dr. Julianah until October at least. Oh well...

Anyway, baby and I are both doing fine, that's the most important. \\(^-^)// yeah!

13 down, still 5 more to go!

I have been feeling good since last Thursday. No more headaches but tummy still bloated and very sensitive to smells. I realised I cannot take the smell of onions and fish and any kind of strong smells!

Was especially sleepy on Saturday, slept until around 11am! Didn't want to wake up but had to wake up to eat...after that, I fell asleep again. The next thing I know, it was almost 4pm when I woke up again! Then I cooked myself noodles to eat and started downloading the final exams paper for my 13th subject on HRM. It was about the HR issues at British Airways...quite a lot of issues, I must say. I really don't understand the power of unions! I guess it's because there isn't a really strong union here in HK and Singapore? Anyway, the BA cabin-crew is already the highest paid crew in the airline industry, what are they still complaining about? The company has been making losses for the past 2 years and they are still staging strikes, disrupting thousands of travellers and asking for more. I think they are ridiculous with their demands...that's the problem with the system in the UK. Hubby has been reading up alot on the UK policies and have been showing me ridiculous examples of the welfare system in the UK. People on welfare are having better housing and receiving more money than those who earn a honest living in the UK! So, why should anybody work? I still think that Singapore has the best policy in the world. Everybody has to work and has to take care of oneself and one's parents. Can't depend on the government and that's why everyone in Singapore has to work hard and upgrade oneself all the time to get a better life. That's fair and that's how an economy can grow. We don't have any natural resources in Singapore but our most precious resource is our people, human resource! And we have a good HRM called the PAP.

Anyway, I have finished 13 subjects for my MBA with U21Global and have 5 more subjects to do. At this rate, I should be able to finish 16 by December this year, leaving 2 more for next year. Complete in 3 years...just nice. :)

Good day

Today is a good day. No headache, just slight bloated stomach and a little gastric pain prior to lunchtime. I suspect my headaches were due to the medications (Crinone 8% & Utrogestan 100mg) that I have been taking. I stopped the Utrogestan from yesterday's afternoon dose and also did not insert the Crinone last night. Or was it due to a head and shoulders massage yesterday? Anyway, I think there's no harm for me to stop the medications for a couple of days as I have previously stopped for 5 consecutively. I shall resume the medications after my 13th subject's final exams this weekend.

Had a busy morning, had 7 visitors from our Philippines factory coming in to learn our operations using the logistics system. Apparently, they have already implemented the same logistics system in the Philippines factory but has not started using it fully. So, they are here to learn the efficiency of the system, our paperless picking operation and our customized customer label issuing and packing operations. We started the presentation and orientation at around 9:30am and finished slightly before 12noon. By that time, I was starving and started having gastric pains. The sea creature inside me was complaining of the lack of food!

Luckily, lunch was sumptuous. We had about 8 varieties of tim sum, mantis prawns and also steamed crabs with egg-white plus desserts. Felt so much better after lunch!

I have been emailing S who is also about 11 weeks pregnant about my morning sickness symptoms and apparently she had headaches too and she also found eating helps! So she gave me a tip. To drink isotonic drinks so that the glucose in the drink will "bluff" the sea creature that there is food and will not give me problems. Hehehe. I will try that later!

Headache...

Today's morning sickness involved headaches...not unbearably painful but a dull throbbing pain across my forehead since I woke up. What is that? I am trying to start drinking fresh milk to increase my calcium intake but it taste terrible. I just want to drink soda the whole day and suck on sour prunes...but I know it's not healthy for me, so I have to control my cravings and stick to a healthy diet as much as I can. It's really not easy being pregnant and it's still a long way to go...at least another 34 more weeks! Can't wait for the 2nd trimester to come...

Week 6

Super tired and sleepy after lunch today but I cannot sleep...just had a 10-minute nap before the bell went off and felt that I really needed a bed to lie down and snooze for at least another hour. There's really nothing much for me to do at the office...*sigh* Maybe I should go sleep in the toilet...

My morning sickness symptoms have not been too bad, at least I have not vomited anything out yet! My baby should be the size of a tic-tac and still looking very sea creature-like...I should be able to hear its heartbeat by now and its heart is suppose to be beating twice as fast as mine! Amazing! Maybe that's what been making me feel sick?

Anyway, can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat at the doctor's next week.

The Final Number = 1

Yes, I have taken a scan today and the doctor confirmed one baby inside my womb. I asked doctor J what might have happened to the other embryo and this was her answer : "The other embryo did not implant so the body has naturally "removed" it as it perished." Interesting...so in another word, it came out from my body together with my vaginal discharge? ....

Anyway, I am happy with one baby, but at the same time I am also a little disappointed. I am not being greedy but I was thinking that since 2 good embryos were inserted, I should hope that they would both survive, shouldn't I? But I knew from the start that out of the 2 embroys inserted, 1 was better quality than the other, so I guess the better survived this time...I would forever wonder whether the other embryo would be a boy or a girl...Am I crazy? While feeling pity that the other embryo didn't make it, I am worried that this one won't too...I am getting paranoid.

The doctor told me that I am in my 5th week now and only by the 6th week at least will we be able to detect the heartbeat. I will be going back to see her on my 7th week for that check and at the meantime, I need to rest as much as possible, take good care of myself and not eat anything cooling or too cold. I have also purchased extra 2 weeks' medication to help me maintain my hormone level up. The Crinone 8% vaginal inserts and the Utrogestan 100 which I have to take 2 pills times a day. I am determined to carry this baby to full term and give birth to a healthy baby in March!

Tested Positive!

Thank GOD! Om Sai Ram! I have been tested positive today at the gynaecologist's clinic. So happy and relieved. Will see the doctor again in 2~3 weeks for ultrasound scan to confirm the number of baby(s). (^-^)

3 weeks...

*Sigh*...3 weeks back in Singapore went back just like that! I am going back to Hong Kong this morning and won't be back again until at least 3 months later. Missing my children so much already.

2 embryos inserted

About a month after I started my IVF cycle, I finally had 2 good embryos inserted into the lining of my womb yesterday. Now everything is in God's hands...the embryos need to hatch and attach themselves on the lining of my womb to get all the nutrients they need to grow into babies. I am praying hard for both of them to grow together and stay inside me for at least the next 38~40 weeks.

To be honest, I think the whole process has been not too difficult for me...at least I didn't any complications such as really bad headaches, mood swings and over-bloatedness as some people mentioned. I had minor headaches, no mood swing (my husband said that my mood seems better than before!) and I am not unbearably bloated. Didn't really like the injections and blood-taking though. I have needle marks all over my tummy and arms...*yucks*.

I am rather disappointed with the number of good embryos finally though...I had 10 eggs retrieved out from me and then according to the embryologist, 9 were mature enough for fertilization but after day 2, only 6 became embryos. Then on day 5, only 2 were good enough and the other 4 had to be discarded....That is to say, if I cannot get pregnant from these 2 embryos, I will have to start the IVF cycle all over again...And I don't think we are going to do that. It's too expensive. It's about SGD18,000 for the whole process!

Baby-Making via IVF

Over the weekend I have officially completed the 11th subject for my MBA course and I have another 7 more to go. It's good to be counting down to 1 digit finally and from now onwards, I will have 1 final exams each month for the next 3 months. I am trying to push myself to complete as many subjects as I can this year so that I will only have 1 or 2 subjects next year as I have other agenda on my schedule.

I have started my IVF process and this morning I have injected myself with the very first Lucrin injection. I am kind of proud of myself for being able to administer the injection on my own belly. It was kind of painful though and after a call to the nurse, she thought me to release my pinch before I push the medicine in. It should reduce the pain, she said. I will try again tomorrow morning. She should have told me in the 1st place!

Wage Issue

Today is increment payday and everybody in the office receives a letter together with the usual computerised payslip announcing their increment for the year. It's one of the two sensitive times of the year where everyone has expectations and then usually gets disappointed...I doubt there are many out there thinking that they are being paid very well and that the increment rate or bonus payout is fair or satisfactory.

There are many protests happening around Hong Kong regarding the amount to be set as the minimum wage. Someone in the government side suggested HKD20/hr and had his whole family cursed by the workers. Then after much research on the market rate, they again suggested that HKD24/hr is fair. The workers and their representative unions are asking for HKD33/hr. Employers complain that's too expensive and suggest that it will be better to let the wage be set by the market forces instead.

What's the point of setting the minimum wage? Ok, let's say the government set the minimum wage at HKD33/hr, then the employers start to employ less workers to cut operation costs, and because of that unemployment rate goes up. Unemployed workers start to get desperate and offer to work for less, but the employers are still not employing because they cannot pay less than the stipulated rate...so what happens? I think it's really stupid. Why not let the market decides the rate by the forces of demand and supply?

I think the employment contract is a contract binding the employer and the employee. If the employee thinks that the company is underpaying him, he will try to find a better paying job and when he finds it, he resigns. If the company thinks that he is indispensable, they will try to retain him by matching his new offer or pay higher...but that will only happens when there is really a new offer. If the company thinks that they can do without that employee, they will let him leave and then gets someone else to take over or use a lower rate to employ another. This happens when the employee is over-qualified for the job.

Some companies pay more than the market rate so as to attract the best employees but they will not hestitate to fire when the employee does not perform. My company is different, they will pay the minimum market rate, gives the minimum welfare and fringe benefits so turnover rate is quite high but nobody has been indispensable to the company so far. So the question is : "Does the company need the employees more or does the employees need the company more?"

My first trip to the US.

Fishermen Wharf - Pier 39

Dungeness Crabs

Pearl from my chosen oyster!

Returned from a 5-day trip to San Francisco exactly a week ago and is finally feeling better today to be able to get some school work done and also do some blogging. I caught a terrible cold in SF...

SF's trip was a "been there, did that" kind of trip. Have heard so much good things about SF but have not been there or anywhere in the US, so I decided that maybe it's time to take a trip and see for myself what's the big deal about the US. Hubby was half-hearted about the trip, he would prefer going to Japan instead but he was accommodating, especially since we probably won't be able to go anywhere with me starting the IVF cycle soon...

The weather was terrible in SF, it was chilly, rainy and really nothing like how I'd imagined it to be. We would probably had enjoyed the trip much better if the weather had been better. Anyway, we went to all the must-see places; we went to the Fishermen Wharf, saw the Alcatraz from there, ate the famous Dungeness crabs, watched the lazy sea lions at Pier 39, picked an oyster to get my very first pearl...

We rode the famous cable cars up and town the hilly streets of SF, went to Chinatown and Japantown, and had a very long walk at the Golden Gate Park where there were lots of beautiful Cherry Blossoms trees. At Union Square, we shopped at Victoria Secrets, Macy's and Nordstrom. I really like it that people can bring their dogs everywhere in the city, even into departmental stores! In Hong Kong, we can't even keep pet dogs in public housing and most private apartments! And dogs are out of bounds to most parks! Crazy!

Chinatown

Japan Town

Victoria's Secret

Anyway, the highlight of our trip was probably the morning when we joined the queue to buy our iPads on the opening day at the Apple store. There were 2 lines, one for the reservations and one for the walk-ins, and of course we belong to the walk-in line...we were told that the reservation line will be given priority to go in once the store opened at 9am and we will be going in later. Nevertheless, we managed to get into the store by 10:30am and walked out with our iPads at 11am! We were very pleased with the service at Apple, they served us Krispy Kreme donuts and Starbucks coffee while we were queueing, and we get our very own salesperson and technical instructor inside the store! One thing that really impressed me about the trip to the US was the service quality of the service staff everywhere and most of the people were friendly. There were many homeless beggars and crook-looking blacks in the streets that spoilt the otherwise perfect image of a metropolitan city though...

Life is boring?

I was chatting with an ex-colleague on the phone the other day and apparently, she is very happy with her life right now after being retrenched from my company. I had worried slightly for her as I know that she won't be able to get another job paying her the same anywhere else...How wrong was I!

Post-work, she stayed at home slightly less than 3 months to take care of her daughter and husband. Then she enrolled herself in some make-up lessons and she's since been doing bridal makeup and hairdo! She will also be enrolling herself for a course on wedding planning and she is intending to make a career out of it. She told me that for the 1st time in her life, she realized that she has a dream and it feels really good. I am happy for her.

The conversation set me thinking..."what am I doing here in HK?", "is this job what I really want to do?", "do I have a dream?"...The answers to them are "for the money", "no" and "no". How sad. But I have to admit, I have lost my dream ever since I quit the tour business and started working for others. I have been working day in day out, trying to do what is expected of me and getting paid at the end of every month. I have worked for this present company for the past 8 years and so far the only job satisfaction I got from this job was being able to attain a position where no Asian female has ever attained in the organisation. But so what? What's the point? Honestly, I really don't know...

My latest passion at the moment is my 2 toy poodle pups. I am thinking of having a third one...a white toy poodle maybe...am I crazy?

The Index is climbing...not the stock market

On a good day, this is the view from my bedroom window...and I emphasize a good day as this kind of days are hard to come by especially in recent years Hong Kong. The pollution is getting from bad to worse and today it was recorded way over 400 on the pollution index in all parts of Hong Kong! No wonder I am having swollen and teary eyes! Damn!

Was chatting with an old school friend who have moved back to Singapore 2 years ago after staying in Hong Kong for the past 12 years. Apparently, the pollution is one of the many reasons that have driven her and her boyfriend away from Hong Kong. They used to stay on a house boat anchored at the marine club in Hong Kong island, the southernmost part. It's an area that I assume would be least affected by the pollution, unlike the rest of the areas in Kowloon...

What's the point of having full seaview when most of the times, I cannot see much of the sea anyway? Maybe it's time to move again...

"Sad to belong"

Was listening to this song on the way to work this morning and I think that it's really quite a stupid song. The melody is good though...just that the lyrics is stupid. It goes "It's sad to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along...." So, don't belong to anyone forever then!

How do we know that the one we are together with is the right one or not? I asked my hubby and he said that it's really a tough question as he thinks that one will never know for sure. It may feels right but is it perfect? Hmm... I believe that there will always be someone that may seem better or more right than the present one if you insist to continue looking around. But the rule of the game of love does not allow one to keep trying out new loves and then come back to the old/present one when the new ones are not "right". So, like the song, it's really sad to belong to someone else...

There was a documentary by TVB a couple of weeks ago about single women over 30s. These women are referred to as "败犬" (losers) or "熟女" (mature women). It documented their frustrations about not being able to get hooked and some of them admitted that it may be their own fault. Some of them were expecting too much from their past relationships and had thus driven their men out; some were financially too strong for their men to handle; and another had a cheating husband whom she could not forgive...All sad realities of being a modern woman in this modern world.
I had my fair share of all the above frustrations when I was much younger...glad I do not now.

A good day

Today is one of those rare days where everything feels good from the moment I woke up. First of all, I finally woke up without aches and pain all over my body, unlike the past 10 days when I had symptoms of flu and rheumatism add together...sore throat, running nose, teary eyes, aches and pain in all the joints of the body. Today I felt good, no aches and my skin felt much moisturised after a night of Laneige's Water Sleeping Pack, even my hair seemed to fall into place nicer! The traffic was exceptionally smooth too, didn't meet any traffic lights until the very last one and we made it to work 4 minutes earlier than usual. And I received a call from Shanghai that really made my day. It was J and he thanked me for helping him get his request for additional manpower and equipment approved by HQ. I am sure glad that I was of help. Feels good that HQ actually asked for my opinion and respected it when I gave it.

Come to think of it, the good feeling that I am having now actually started from last evening when I had a meeting with the rest of the Japanese managers and head of departments regarding the appraisal reviews of our staff. I was as usual the only female and non-Japanese head of department and it makes me feel good every time. I recommended 5 of my staff for promotions and they all respected my decision with no challenge at all which was really rare. Some of the other guys who had given a grades for their staff were openly told off which was actually quite embarrassing...

Oh I treasure days like this ~ makes waking early up and coming to work feels worthwhile. :)

My MIL's Wish

I am feeling exhausted as I have just returned from a 10-day Chinese New Year holidays back in Singapore. This time we finally got to see the inside of our apartments, after waited for more than 3 years. All other apartments in the area have already been completed, making ours the slowest of them all...Actually, it's not a bad deal for us as we are not in a hurry to move in and neither are we thinking of renting the apartments out for returns anyway. We get a few thousand dollars of compensation from the developer for the delay.

The very next morning after arriving in Singapore we met up with 2 Interior Designers to discuss carpentry works and some minor renovation works for both apartments. We will have 6 bedrooms, 5 toilets, 2 living(1 big and 1 small), 2 kitchens, 1 formal dining and 1 casual dining combined. In total for 7 of us in our family including the old folks, we will have 2000 sq. ft. of space. Not bad at all, considering that my hubby and I had stayed in a 380 sq. ft. apartment in Hong Kong for the last 4 years...

We confirmed and decided on one of the designers who had given us a very good layout with careful considerations for all of our family members. We will be getting the 3D drawings of the proposal Wednesday this week and I will be going back again on Saturday to choose the materials. I hope to be able to decide on all the necessary things by then and need not fly back again until the actual removal which will probably be end March.

On the 1st day of the New Year, we went praying and blessing as usual and the medium spent quite some time with D, telling him to work harder and aim higher for his PSLE. We are all hoping that he will do well and get into a good secondary school near to our new place. My MIL wants me to have a baby this year, telling me not to delay anymore and telling her son the same. I hope it can be as easy as she thinks...Hubby is doing his Masters in Hong Kong and won't be graduating until end of the year, I have a contract here in Hong Kong until end-June this year and I think it will get extended again. The only way that I can get back to Singapore is resigning from this company which is actually paying me quite well...So, it's really not so easy.

Bad start...

I have to admit that I had a great weekend but unfortunately I do not have a good start to my week today. First of all, I received an email from an Admin Assistant in my Shenzhen office informing everybody about changes made to the seating arrangements for the Annual Dinner tonight which I am not involved in and so are all of the staff in our Hong Kong office. (Except for the President and 2 other Managers with teams in Shenzhen). We were told by our President from last year that we would not have Annual Dinner this year due to bad business and tight budget but our Shenzhen counterparts are having one as usual...

Then our stupid Admin in Hong Kong made us sign an acknowledgement agreeing to some changes made to the Employee Handbook with effect from today but did not state clearly the changes made...And the best thing was when we told them that we will not sign because it's not written clearly, they told us that the acknowledgement letter was prepared by the HR consultant! That's the ultimate bullsh*t that this company can come out with, paying stupid monies to some stupid consultants and depriving the staff of an Annual Dinner. How can we expect any loyalty from the staff?

This is really a bad start to the week....and we are having a meeting with all those id*ots later at 4pm...

Weekend Update - Movie, walk and Spa.

I had a great weekend. Starting with a morning session movie at UA Citygate and cried my eyes out watching "Hachiko". Richard Gere looked really old in the movie but still as handsome and as charming as always. "Hachi" was really cute when he was a puppy! Love his eyes! Much like my very own Coffee's. If I can afford to have a big house, I would really love to have a Akita Inu! It is such a handsome breed! And maybe also a Golden Retriever! And a Shiba Inu!

Took Cookie to see the vet for her teeth as her milk teeth won't drop and her adult teeth are coming out. The vet told me that she will have to be fully tranquilized for extracting the teeth and suggest that I have it done together with the de-sexing surgery. I don't intend to de-sex her though. I would love for her to give me more cute little puppies that resemble both Coffee and her! So, I will have to check her teeth hygiene more regularly so that she will not get tooth decay. Anyway, the vet checked her and told me that she has a slightly weak right knee. Not very serious but may develop into arthritis when she grows old. Coffee has strong bones though and everything is fine with him. And fortunately we went to the vet as we found out that they have missed 1 vaccination. I thought the pet shop told us that they have had 2 vaccinations when we bought them? Anyway, they are fully vaccinated now, including the one for rabies.

After the visit to the vet, we took the pups to the Inspiration Lake near Disneyland and had a great walk. We didn't see any other people walking their dogs and I suspect that dogs are not allowed. Anyway, there was no sign so we didn't care. Both of them had a great workout running and walking around the lake, and so did the both of us.

In the evening, we went to the MTM Spa at Novotel Citygate. I had a 2-hr facial session with special treatment for my eye bags and caviar essence infused mask for my face and neck. I slept through almost half of the session and left feeling my skin refreshed. I guess I have to start taking care of my skin as I approach the big 40. Hubby had a 30-minute head, neck and shoulders massage which he thought was too short.

Sunday was spent at home. Tried to tub with the pups but they were terrified of the water. They hanged on to us like crazy and wouldn't let go! Coffee was so funny, peddling with his limbs so fast even though he was out of water. I cooked dinner, made soup (black chicken and fish maw and conch) and fried vegetables with pork liver sausage. Yummy. (^-^)

5th birthday in HK

My 3rd Hello Kitty birthday cake! ^-^

I had a great birthday week this year! And for consecutively 3 years, my staff in HK bought me Hello Kitty cakes since they know that anything Hello Kitty will make me very happy. ^-^

On Friday, I had dinner with hubby at Olea, Novotel Citygate, just the 2 of us. It was a nice cozy restaurant which was not crowded and had an open kitchen where I could smell the pizzas baking. We had tapas, pizza and lamb cutlets with sparkling wine. The pizza was especially delicious. I think we will be going there for dinner quite often...

On Saturday, we had tim sum lunch with J and the Ma's at Lei Garden, Shatin. J was going back to Singapore that evening and his wife was out doing her last minute shopping, so he joined us alone. Lei Garden's tim sum was really good, too bad they don't have a branch at TST where my office is...

For dinner, we went to Amigo at Happy Valley with the Ma's. Ma shares the same birthday as me and he recommended Amigo after having a great time for his wife's birthday in December. It was an old French restaurant with a history older than me. The interior of the restaurant was very European with a bar on the ground floor and dining on the second floor up a winding stairway. There were oil paintings hanging on the walls and the chandeliers were lighted with real candles! There was also a live band consisting of 3 Filipino guys who could sing English, Mandarin and Cantonese songs going table to table obliging song requests and entertaining the guests with their impressive voices. The ladies were served first and presented with a rose after dinner. For birthdays, the signature cake (Napoleon) will be on the house and also a Polaroid photo of the occasion will be taken. Oh yah, memo pads printed with the guests' names will also be presented upon arrival at the table! I think they are for making song requests to the band.

Anyway, dinner was delicious, we had foie gras, escargots, clam chowder soup where the clams were fresh, fat and juicy, then we had the main course and then we had the most delicious souffle that I had ever had. And since it was my birthday, we were given the house cake which was also good but not as great as I had hoped. At the end, we had our coffees and teas and which came with ice cream balls coated with chocolate which was better than the cake. I think it's because I like chocolate better? All of the above for the price tag of HKD3570 for 4 of us without drinks. Not cheap at all and I would recommend going there only for special occasions.

On Sunday, we spent a day with the puppies and we brought them out to the park again. Cookie was ecstatic! She ran so fast! I love watching all the different variety of dogs at the park and having the dog lovers come cooing over Cookie being so small and cute. Apparently, many of them have had toy poodles but most them not as small size as Cookie. Coffee was terrified of all the bigger dogs that come sniffing at his butt. Such a funny sight. LOL

39!

I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. I had a birthday present hand-carried and delivered to Hong Kong from Singapore! My ex-colleagues from the warehouse remembered my birthday and had J bring me the present while vacationing in Zhuhai, Macau and Hong Kong with his family. It was really sweet and nice of them. ^-^

This is the 5th birthday celebrated in Hong Kong and same as previous years, I received flowers and my staff bought me lunch. The girl at the reception was asking me if I will have a Hello Kitty cake again this year....hmm...I wonder?

I celebrated my birthday with E and J last night at a private dining place called "家宴". It was a 8-course dinner and it was delicious. I would love to go back for dinner again in February or March, with hubby and the Ma's. Their menu change every month except for the 3 signature items which are the lobster salad, the prawn and the crab dishes remaining the same. And I think they will all love it. It costs HKD260 per person and that includes tea and service charges.

Ok, back to my birthday. I am 39 this year but I am not worried of being old as I do not feel old at all. I may have a few wrinkles on my face and neck, I may have put on some weight at my waistline, hips and thighs, but I am in good health and everything in my life is falling into places nicely! I am finally on my way to getting the MBA that I had wanted to get more than 10 years ago, my children are growing up beautifully, our apartments in Singapore are finally ready for occupancy, bought the car I had always wanted to drive, bought not 1 but 2 tiny toy poodle puppies and my marriage life is better than ever! So how much more can I ask for? I am HAPPY, very HAPPY. Om Sai Ram!

I was talking to my daughter the other day when she was here on school holidays and she told me that she would like to be a fashion magazine editor. It's good to have ambition and dreams but honestly, how many of us actually get to do what we like to do and actually make a living out of it? I have a good job, it is not my ideal job but it helps me provide for my family and also gives me a comfortable lifestyle. In that sense, I like my job but I hope that in 5 years, I can actually start to do what is really meaningful and what I really like to do. :)

Bye 2009! Happy 2010!

Hi! Happy New Year to all! Hope that 2010 will be better for everybody as 2009 was kind of a bad year for many.

The reasons I didn't write for so long were mainly due to studies which I have completed exactly 50% in December 2009 and pure laziness...hehehe. Anyway, it's the new year and I thought I should start writing again. So, here I am again! :)

Reflecting on the past year, 2009 was not a bad year for me at all! For one, I am still kept employed in Hong Kong and then I made some major changes to my lifestyle. Started playing bowling on a regular basis and even joined a league which was fun. Upgraded my bowling balls from 10lbs to 14lbs and made it over 200 a couple of times. Then I got myself 2 teddy bear toy poodle puppies which I had wanted for 4 years since seeing them (the species, I mean) for the 1st time during my Taipei trip in 2005. Coffee and Cookie, have brought us so much fun in 2009 and I am sure they will bring us even more love and fun in 2010 and many more years to come.

We have also moved house...all the way into Lantau Island for bigger space and better air. And we bought a car, not just a normal car but a beetle cabriolet! Life is certainly making a better turn for us here in Hong Kong and I am ready to stay for as long as I am needed here. The only problem is the baby issue...to have one or not to have one? For many people, things like this will be best let nature takes its own course but for our case, we will have to go through the IVF process if we want to have one and this process is going to take a toll on us, especially me and it sucks...

Plans for the new year:

1. Complete at least 7 subjects for my MBA.

2. Move the family into the new apartment.

3. Visit San Francisco in April.

4. Extend my contract in Hong Kong for 1 year.

5. Make baby?