Death

The destination for everyone is the same...DEATH but everyone's journey is different. Some people reach their destination sooner, some reach later, some people enjoy their journeys but some suffer throughout their journeys, some people have exciting journeys and some may have boring journeys, but eventually everyone will reach the same destination. Why am I writing all this? Well, there is a death in my extended family. My MIL's brother had just passed away on Tuesday in hospital after suffering from a stroke a week ago, fell into a coma and being pronounced brain-dead. They decided to take off his life support system and let him go yesterday afternoon. He was only 64 years old and just retired from work a year ago, leaving behind his wife, a daughter, son-in-law and a son. No grandchild yet.

We went to the wake last night and his wife came over, greeted us and fell into my arms for comfort. We were never this close to be hugging like that! But I think she needed all the comfort she could get from everyone, so I hugged her, sharing her sorrows and my eyes swelled up. Her eyes were swelling up too but  my MIL told her not to be so sad, let him go with a peace of mind so that he will have a smooth journey into the ether world. I have heard of advises like these in every wake I have attended and I always think to myself, how can one not be sad and cry when one's dearest pass away?  The wake is just 3 to 7 days when all friends and relatives will be coming over to give their condolences. They will sit around, chit-chat, eat, drink and some even play mahjong until late in the night. The family of the deceased as hosts will need to attend to their friends and relatives,  participate in prayers and rituals led by the priests throughout the duration of the wake. They are usually being kept busy and probably won't have much time and energy to dwell on the fact that their dearest have passed away and cry over it. However, after all these activities are over and when all their friends and relatives have gone home, what will become of them? Won't the loss be suddenly so obvious and the sadness be even more overwhelming?

Every time I attend a funeral or hear of someone's passing, I can't help but think of how will I feel when it's my mother's turn and what will become of me. It's not happening any time soon but the thought of it is already bringing tears to my eyes...How can I not cry when it really happen? How is it possible to alleviate the sorrow? How will anybody else know the sorrow that one feels when one loses his/her dearest? How can they be consoled? A loss is a loss and life will never be the same again...The thought of death terrifies me, not of my own but of anyone dear to me...I wish I never have to experience such grief.

My Little "Monkey"

Tree-Climbing Monkey

We have come to the 3rd quarter of the year and my baby J is a full-fledge 18-month old toddler now! Time really flies no matter you are having fun or not! Family time with baby J has been great, especially during weekends when we bring him for his enrichment class on Saturdays and other outings on Sundays. He is happiest when he's out and running about. We brought him together to walk the dogs at East Coast Park last Sunday and he was particularly fascinated with the tree trunks! He was also walking on the sand, picking up little cones and throwing them towards the sea. Too bad the water was too dirty, I would love to bring him for a dip in the sea! Maybe we should plan a family holiday at the beach or something soon! 

My Market Value

I am checking out my market value recently in the job market. I am looking for an opportunity to change my present job. I have setup an Linkin account, wrote my CV and even sent out a few applications. Till date, only one company came back asking me if I am interested to have an interview with the hiring managers if they can at best match my present remuneration. "Hell YES!" I am desperate for a change of job! I am totally sick of my job! I want a change! Or do I? The problem with change is that there are so many uncertainties and so many risks involved. Can I afford to lose my present income? Am I up for new challenges that will take away more family time, more brain cells, more hair and give me back more wrinkles and blurry eyes instead? I really cannot give an affirmative answer...

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

Actually what I love to do most is to be with my baby J, play with him, teach him new tricks, snuggle up beside him and sleep with him. If I can do that everyday, that will be just wonderful! But then, I want to have a fulfilling job as well, one that not only pays well but also let me have a sense of accomplishment and also expose me to new challenges and let me acquire new knowledge/skills, etc. Sadly, my present job doesn't do that for me any more. It pays me quite well but I do not learn much from the job, I have already progressed much ahead of it, or so I think. Anyway, I went to see a recruitment consultant and she said that to be honest, many employers do not like to see candidates with more than 10 years in a company because they tend to think that these candidates will not be easily adaptable and do not have enough exposure and experience to bring to their companies, which I agree totally. My company is not using SAP or Oracle or any of the common WMS that most companies are using, we developed an ERP system in-house, we are unique, we do not outsource as well...so the skills that I acquired here will not apply to other companies out there! And the longer I stay here, my market value will depreciate further!

What I love about my hubby...

We were watching "Just Go With It" last night on HBO and I particularly like the part when the two main casts, Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston were asked to say the things that they love about each other. It was so romantic! I asked my hubby immediately if he can say things like that when asked the same, he thought for a moment, chuckled and leaned over to give me a kiss on my face. Nope, he couldn't. And I started to wonder to myself..."What about me?" So I decided that I shall start thinking seriously all the things, small and big that I love about my hubby and start putting them down!

1) I love the way he looks and smells.  

2) I love his panda eyes and how our son resembles him.

3) I love that we can talk about anything and everything unpretentiously.

4) I love that I always know what he was going to say before he said it and he will be like "Damn!  How did you do that?!"

5) I love that he accepts me as who I am and never try to change me.

6) I love that he will wake up in the middle of the night, kiss me, fondle me and then goes back to sleep and not remembering any of that the next morning!

7) I love that he can always point out my mistakes at bowling but then when I bowl well, he doesn't take the credit but just jokes "that's not my wife!" 

8) I love that out of the blue he will have some crazy cravings for some foods so randomly.

9) I love that he is always so amazed or proud of his crap literally.

10) I love his sense of humour and jokes, never fail to make me laugh or roll my eyes.

11) I love to run my hands through his thick hair and loose my fingers in them.

12) I love that he doesn't snore when he sleeps.

13) I love how he cried when his pet lobster died. He hadn't even dare pick that little fellow up once with his bare hands when it was alive! LOL!

14) I love how he also loves dogs like I do and how he had chosen Coffee.

15) I love the way he speaks Cantonese.

16) I love how he can make old folks like him.

17) I love how he is such a buddy with D, especially when it comes to eating all kinds of junk foods together.

18) I love that we MSN each other everyday while at work.

And the list will go on...but most important of all, I love the way he makes me feel...like I can be a better person as long as he is with me. 

Dilemma of a mother

With my baby growing up so fast and me being stuck in a job with no prospects and job satisfaction, I am in a dilemma  again as to whether I should go out and look for another job with better prospects and pay or should I just stay put and try to spend more time with my baby... It's never easy being a mother, especially a working mother. I admire so many of my friends who have the same educational background as me or even higher and yet they chose to stay home after becoming a mother. Honestly, I have never been a good mother in that sense, I have not stayed home for both my elder children and left all the mothering duties to my mother who has been a homemaker most of her life. A small part of me regrets not spending enough time with both of them but I know that I can never be the stay-at-home mum. And I am not that type of mother who is overly concern about my children's academic results. I just want them to grow up healthy and do whatever their interests lead them. Thank God that even though I have not always been there for both of them, they both grow up relatively well.

Ever since I became mother again to baby J, I have been contemplating about the option of staying at home more and taking care of baby J by myself. My mum is getting too old to take care of another grand kid full time, my MIL is helping me take care of J but she is not entirely happy doing it as she is also not the homely type. She wants to run her own business, so she has been urging me to send J to the childcare. And so I started looking around for a good childcare for J but most of the childcare centers around my place is full! I have to put J on the wait list! And I thought the government says that we are not having enough babies? They are not providing enough childcare centers! Anyway, after web-shopping around for preschool/childcare for J, I realized that some of the prestigious ones can cost up to $18,000/year! That's as expensive as going to University! I wonder what they teach the children? How are they different from the others?

Where did my baby go?

My baby is 16 months old now, no longer a baby but a toddler full of curiosity and energy to explore the world around him. I, on the other hand, am still fat and desperate to lose all those pregnancy fats that I have accumulated around my tummy, hips and thighs. Instead of going under the knife, I have opt to go for cool sculpting and diet pills. It's been 2 weeks since I went for the cool sculpting treatment and I think I can feel some results...or at least I hoped...Anyway, give it another 2~3 weeks, I should get the final look of my tummy.

I have been shopping around for some enrichment programs for baby J to go to together with me or hubby over the weekends and so far we have been to two that I think is quite good. One is Growing Up Gifted at Mountbatten and another is Wee Care at the Polliwogs where the playground is huge. Both have very interesting and stimulating programs for toddlers to participate in with parents but I think we are going to register J at Growing Up Gifted because the timing is better for us and they offer bilingual classes.

Baby J having fun at the water park!

On Sunday, we took J to the water park at the rooftop of 112 Katong again. He was running around the park giggling and screaming, playing with the water and getting himself all wet. Water parks like these are so much fun for kids especially with the weather being so hot and humid in Singapore. Seeing him running around really made me wonder where did my baby go?  

Couple fights

My hubby has a terrible temper, not that I have a very good temper but I think he's worse. The main reason for his bad temper I think is because of this pain in his neck that has been bothering him for quite some time, no I mean really a pain in his neck as in physically. And the stress he is facing at work now is not helping at all. On Sunday he raised his voice at me for not preventing baby J from going near the maid who was ironing clothes in the living room of my mum's place. I gave him a stare and told him to shut up under my breathe as I didn't want others in the house to hear me. He stormed straight out of the house, throwing the piece of bread that he was eating on the floor outside the door and toppling my mum's plants. My mum was shocked as she didn't hear us argue or anything and asked what was wrong. I told her it was nothing, went on finishing up my breakfast and helped to washed up. I was kind of surprised that I was able to keep my cool, I guess I have really mellowed with age, either that or I am just miraculously being especially accommodating to him. Whatever it was, I am happy with the outcome as this kind of quarrel won't be good for our relationship. Anyway, even though we did not quarrel, we had "made-up sex" that night and it was good. Despite experts' views that couple quarrels are actually good for relationships, I think that it's best not to quarrel. Quarrels are damaging to relationships because those nasty things being said during fights will stay forever...Instead, couples should learn to trust that your other half is really having a bad time and learn not to bother about him/her for not being sweet and nice sometimes.

We have been married for 6 years now and honestly I cannot recall any major quarrels or arguments we had  other than about work as we used to work together. Now that we don't work together, there is really nothing to argue about anymore. By September this year, we would have been together for 8 years and although our lives are not perfect in terms of our individual work lives and our living environment, we are happy that we have each other and baby J. Happiness is a state of mind I think and there will always be things that we would like to improve in our lives but we should also learn to be contented with whatever we have. 

Living the moment

Baby J so happy before getting into the water!

Scared stiff!

April passed by in a breeze and baby J is no longer a baby but a 14-month-old toddler full of funny facial expressions, tricks and naughty ideas. I feel that he is getting restless at home and will need to have much more activities like going to the playground and swimming. We bought him for his first swim in our pool on the 2nd floor on Sunday afternoon after our golf lesson and he was scared stiff! I guess it was because the water was too cold for his liking. Maybe going to a pool out in the sun will be better?

Anyway, this weekend I may want to bring him for a play at the children play gym at Kallang again or go to Botanic Gardens for a run together with the dogs? Hubby is very busy at work now and I am also going to be busy from next week with the upcoming removal of our Thailand sales office's stocks back to Thailand. The plan is to dedicate the next 2 weeks for packing up all the stocks and then the warehouse in Thailand will officially start operations from the 21st May. Then in June, I have another removal of warehouse in Taiwan to handle....And then maybe in August, removal of the Shanghai warehouse?

Nevertheless, I am determined to live our lives to the fullest, filling our everyday with activities and the best thing is hubby is happily joining me in my activities. Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights, we will go for an hour of yoga each. Tuesday night we go practice golf at the driving range, Thursday night is bowling league night and then weekends are for bringing baby J out and about. Phew~ It may sound crazy but I believe that many people are far more busy than us with their maddening schedules and not even doing things that they enjoy! I am living very happily at the moment. I think hubby and I have enough of doing nothing much when we were in Hong Kong without our family. We shall never waste our time again! 

April

I can't believe it, April 2012 is almost over! April is Spring, is the start of a fiscal year at work, is the start of N's school term and also the start of hubby's new post at work. Finally after 6 months of "political turmoil", his direct boss has been sacked and he has secured a position with a much bigger portfolio but a not so much bigger salary package. Anyway, the increment is good enough for us now. We have given up the dream of buying a bigger apartment anyway...

We have instead replaced our 8 years old Mazda 3 with a BMW 523i  despite the crazy COE prices. There is no best time to buy a car in Singapore, I believe that the COE will not come down and I am not willing to wait. The public transport system is getting worse with the frequent breakdowns and disruptions. I know it's kind of extravagant for us to have 2 cars and surely we can have better use for our money...but life is short, we have to try everything once and so we went ahead. We may later replace the 125i with something more fun and slightly cheaper.

Oh, and we signed up for Yoga classes at Platinum Yoga and will start going for classes tomorrow. Anyway, the reason I insisted that we start yoga again is that I feel that my body is getting really stiff and I am easily tired. I think practicing yoga will help to eliminate aches in my body and also help improve my stamina. Am really looking forward to the classes. We have paid for 10 months of unlimited yoga classes and I sure hope that the school won't close down anytime before that!

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

I read this from a friend's sharing on facebook and I found it really intriguing so I decide to share it here on my blog....

 A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

...
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty 

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:  

 Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

I wonder if this is a true incident but nevertheless what this CEO had written is indeed very true. Many young and pretty girls out there who are seeking or dreaming about marrying a rich husband are actually thinking of trading their beauty for money but beauty is only skin deep and it will definitely deteriorate with time. And no amount of money can buy you beauty forever! Strangely, I have never thought about marrying a rich guy, not when I was young and definitely not now since I am already in no trading position. Well, I hope my own daughter will learn to depend on herself too.

10 years on...

How time flies! I have worked for this company for 10 years! Exactly 10 years ago yesterday, I joined the Singapore branch office as the Accounting Manager for the Euro-American Sales Division. 5 months later, they promoted me to Senior Manager of Admin and made me in charged of all the Admin matters including HR, payroll, accounts, IT and warehouse. Then another 8 months later, both the Admin Divisions of the Japanese Sales Division and Euro-American Sales Division merged and I was asked to look after the warehouse as HQ was deploying a global ERP and warehouse management system and they needed someone with very strong Japanese fluency to coordinate with the Japanese staff in HQ. I had no prior warehouse management experience at all! I didn't know what was required of me but I needed the job badly, I was a single mother with 2 young kids and a mother to feed, so I took on the challenge gritting my teeth. Anyway, although it was really tough implementing the system, I gained quite a lot in terms of job knowledge and recognition. So today I am made to be the consultant to a total of 6 warehouses in Asia.

To actually think about it, it was also because of taking up position at the warehouse that I met my present husband. :) I was given the option to employ another preferably Japanese-speaking staff with more computer knowledge to assist me with the system implementation. I still remember vividly on the day of the interview, I stepped into office seeing this handsome guy sitting at the reception area and jokingly commented to the receptionist that I like this one! After interviewing 2 other candidates who were total disappointments, I was looking forward to meeting this handsome guy! However, I was shocked to find out that he had left after the first interview conducted by the HR and Admin Manager! The receptionist quickly called him on his mobile and asked him to come back for interview with me and the rest just fell into places...

10 years later, from being a single mother with 2 kids struggling to make ends meet, I am happily married with 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 private apartments, 2 cars and a post-graduate degree under my name! And hubby and I are looking into investing in some businesses to get ourselves out of the rat race sooner by increasing our passive income. I hope in another 10 years, I can retire and travel around the world in style!

Baby J is ONE!

Baby J @ 1 year old

It was baby J's 1st birthday according to the Lunar calendar yesterday and it also coincided with a Chinese deity's birthday (大伯公), so we went to a charity dinner in honor of him. Now at 1 year old, baby J is walking and almost running, babbling words such as "mama" which can either be referring to me or his grandma, "mum mum" which means he wants to eat whatever we are eating, "nan nan" which means he wants a bottle of milk and plenty of "woos" and "ahhs" and "bahs" which I have not figured out what they are.

Physically he is of normal weight and height, very close to the 50th percentile mark. But I think he's kind of a fast developer in terms of his mobility skills and also verbal skills. Both his big sister and brother didn't walk or babble words as early as he did and many other mothers are commenting that he is really fast, so I guess he is. Sometimes I think he's growing too fast! I kind of miss him when he was still suckling at my breasts and let me craddle him in my arms. I miss the special smell that only breast-feeding babies have and also the times when we both lied on my bed and he would suck at my breast until we both fell asleep. I felt so blissful!

Baby J's 1st overseas trip!

Baby J so happy to be on his 1st flight!

Hubby and baby J came along with me to Hong Kong on my business trip and we stayed over the weekend to meet up with friends. We took the early morning flight and had to grab baby J out of his cot and went on a taxi to the airport at 6am. He was still rather sleepy but he was such a good boy, no tantrums and no crying all the way to HK. I think he must have got used to the flying while in my tummy and thank God, the flight was relatively smooth despite us sitting at the back.

While I was at work, hubby had baby J all to himself and I guess he must have spent some good quality time with his baby. Then on Saturday while hubby was at his Beta Gamma Sigma Induction Ceremony at HKUST, baby J and I had a lunch date at the UC Bistro next to the hall. He was such a charming baby, the waitress couldn't stop playing with him and teasing him. Most of Ian's friends were also charmed by baby J and granduncle Leung was over the top happy to meet him too. Especially when he did the "kungxi kungxi" gesture and the "bye-bye" gesture. Over all despite not being able to shop much, it was a good trip with baby. I think we can do more trips with him again soon!

One thing new in HK was the "lo hei" aka Yusheng that the Maxim group of Chinese restaurants were promoting now. It's the first time that the Singapore tradition of eating Yusheng made its way into HK and we tried it of course! The salmon slices were thicker and more generous but the vegetables were cut a little too thick and they added some new vegetables not usually used in Singapore such as the purple cabbage.

Lo Hei in HK

Happy Dragon Year!

Happy Dragon Year!

Chinese New Year arrived really early this year! Slightly less than 1 month after Christmas and exactly one week after my birthday. We have so much fun and joy celebrating all the festivities this year with baby J! He was the little Santa and now he is the little Chinese emperor in this traditional Chinese costume. :)

I have gone crazy and bought 5 cheongsam for this Chinese New Year and have worn 2 pieces of it so far. I think I look good, not great but good enough and I am happy with it. I have stopped hoping that I will go back to my old size and opt to buy new dresses in new sizes. I think I will not go for another round of cool sculpting...let's not waste money. With me and my hubby's love for good food, I doubt I can slim down any further even with cool sculpting. So WTH! Happy New Year!

2012 - How will it be?

2012 got off on a rather good note for us, I think. Hubby will get his confirmation plus promotion this month and we are hoping that he will get a good package since he will be holding dual roles. My dream of retiring in 10~15 years may really come true sooner than I think? But what shall I do if I retire? I don't really know. Who knows what holds for us in the future anyway? I am happy for hubby and for what I have right now. Sometimes I get a little paranoid though...afraid that whatever I have now will be taken away from me...afraid that I can't be that lucky, afraid that I may use up my luck soon...Can luck be used up? It's crazy, I know...It's this fear that stopped me from buying that brand new BMW 520i and the Chanel handbag that I have been eyeing...Maybe I am just being rational, maybe it's just that I don't need another car yet and I definitely don't need a Chanel handbag. I am happy with a Prada.

Nevertheless, we will be looking for another car to replace our Mazda 3 soon as it is already coming to 8 years old this August. The 6th generation BMW 3 series will be launching in Singapore in February and we like the sport line version we saw on YouTube and if the price is right, we might get it? Another option for us is to get another pre-owned BMW, maybe a X5 or something, if the promotion coming this weekend is good. And that salesman from Audi has been contacting me since I tested the A6...we are spoilt on choices and the COE is coming down! Oh well...no hurry.

I will turn 41 this month and it's kind of scary...I remember I used to think that 40 something is old...Gosh! If I live to 80 years old which is approximately the average life span of women nowadays, I have already used up 50% of my time! I really have to plan well for the rest of my life and don't waste it anymore! Not that I have wasted my life so far, I think I have accomplished quite a lot considering that I already have 3 kids, 2 degrees and a well-paying job. The job part can improve though...I feel that I am rotting in my job...there is no challenge and nothing new to learn...I am not in top management and I don't get a chance to make any kind of decisions...Whatever I studied will only go to waste here in this job. *SIGH*

Hubby will be embarking into his career in his new roles, N will be attending Poly, D in Secondary 2 and baby J will turn 1. It will be an important year for all of them. Maybe I should just retreat into the background and play a supportive role to all of them instead. I don't need to embark on a new career, I don't need to be doing anything challenging, I am a wife and a mother, my hubby and my children should be the main focus of my life right now, not my job.

So for 2012, my resolution is to be a better wife and mother, to spend more time enjoying life with my family in various ways that we all enjoy.