It's been a long time since I sat down and write about my feelings and thoughts...I have been thinking a lot...Am I happier relocating back to Singapore than when I was in Hong Kong? Many people asked me this question when I first came back in Oct 2010 and I said yes readily, but the "honeymoon" period is over. I am not so happy about being in Singapore any more..there are these little things that add up to me being unhappy back here. Not that I am dissatisfied with the government or how things work here, but I really do not like the hot and humid weather which makes me sweaty most of the time. I have a serious case of sweaty hands and feet but the problem is much alleviated when I am overseas. Sweaty hands and feet inconvenience me in many ways that makes me frustrated. And I do not like the way I am being treated at my job over here. Then there is this unhappiness about my house which doesn't look like it belongs to me, I have no space of my own except for the master bedroom and it is such a small room, barely 150 sq ft...
When we decided that it's time to relocate back to Singapore due to my pregnancy and being away for more than 5 years from family, I envisioned that I would be happier, being able to see my children everyday, having a much bigger space than the 2 apartments hubby and I had stayed in Hong Kong, being able to have my dogs run around the house, having better air quality, better tax rebates, etc. I was quite apprehensive about having to stay with my MIL and true enough, it is not easy...especially when she thinks that the whole house belong to her and she can put whatever she wants in the house. I hate all the things that she brings into the house, all the statues and idols of various Gods, all the talismans, etc. I can accept that there is one alter for praying, my mum has one too but I really cannot accept having all these talismans decorated from outside to the inside of the house. And every wall and every cabinets are filled with her religious paraphernalia. And that's not all, she is afraid of dogs, especially small, furry dogs like mine and so I have to keep my dogs locked inside the toilet of my room everyday, letting them out to run about only when she is not at home. Such poor things, right?
Well, all that I mentioned above is not the real issue that is pushing me over the edge. It's the way she is taking care of my baby that is really unacceptable by me. She feeds him instant foodstuff such as instant cereal, bottled/packaged fruit juice, all sorts of processed foods but not fresh food! Even the fish she cooks for him are frozen and cooked using the microwave! And everyday I come home, my baby is stinky and dirty...he even developed nappy rash because she didn't realized that he has pooped and didn't change his diaper for quite awhile. I get it that she really doesn't like taking care of baby, so we thought that the best solution is to get a maid to help out with the housework and cooking while my mum can help to take care of baby. And in order to do that, we all have to move into one big household, preferably one house big enough so that everyone will have their own space and the dogs can run around somewhere like a backyard or a roof terrace or something. And D would really like to have a proper room, even a room in the basement will make him happier. We almost found the perfect house within our budget but the problem is, my MIL won't move! She said she doesn't want to stay with my mum, she thinks that my mum is too fussy. And she said that we are praying to different Gods...So she told me to go ahead and move out while she and uncle will stay...
And so we have! On the last day of 2012, we all moved out and started 2013 on a very good note. I now have a maid to help out with the household chores, my dogs have a new home on the big balcony, D has a proper room and we finally have a king size bed! Life is definitely better in the house but there are some sacrifices...I have to give up one car and really watch my spending. Anyway, this is not a permanent home yet, we still have to continue our search...
I will be turning 42 next week and it feels like I am starting all over again...I wonder when will I ever be able to really settle down?
When we decided that it's time to relocate back to Singapore due to my pregnancy and being away for more than 5 years from family, I envisioned that I would be happier, being able to see my children everyday, having a much bigger space than the 2 apartments hubby and I had stayed in Hong Kong, being able to have my dogs run around the house, having better air quality, better tax rebates, etc. I was quite apprehensive about having to stay with my MIL and true enough, it is not easy...especially when she thinks that the whole house belong to her and she can put whatever she wants in the house. I hate all the things that she brings into the house, all the statues and idols of various Gods, all the talismans, etc. I can accept that there is one alter for praying, my mum has one too but I really cannot accept having all these talismans decorated from outside to the inside of the house. And every wall and every cabinets are filled with her religious paraphernalia. And that's not all, she is afraid of dogs, especially small, furry dogs like mine and so I have to keep my dogs locked inside the toilet of my room everyday, letting them out to run about only when she is not at home. Such poor things, right?
Well, all that I mentioned above is not the real issue that is pushing me over the edge. It's the way she is taking care of my baby that is really unacceptable by me. She feeds him instant foodstuff such as instant cereal, bottled/packaged fruit juice, all sorts of processed foods but not fresh food! Even the fish she cooks for him are frozen and cooked using the microwave! And everyday I come home, my baby is stinky and dirty...he even developed nappy rash because she didn't realized that he has pooped and didn't change his diaper for quite awhile. I get it that she really doesn't like taking care of baby, so we thought that the best solution is to get a maid to help out with the housework and cooking while my mum can help to take care of baby. And in order to do that, we all have to move into one big household, preferably one house big enough so that everyone will have their own space and the dogs can run around somewhere like a backyard or a roof terrace or something. And D would really like to have a proper room, even a room in the basement will make him happier. We almost found the perfect house within our budget but the problem is, my MIL won't move! She said she doesn't want to stay with my mum, she thinks that my mum is too fussy. And she said that we are praying to different Gods...So she told me to go ahead and move out while she and uncle will stay...
And so we have! On the last day of 2012, we all moved out and started 2013 on a very good note. I now have a maid to help out with the household chores, my dogs have a new home on the big balcony, D has a proper room and we finally have a king size bed! Life is definitely better in the house but there are some sacrifices...I have to give up one car and really watch my spending. Anyway, this is not a permanent home yet, we still have to continue our search...
I will be turning 42 next week and it feels like I am starting all over again...I wonder when will I ever be able to really settle down?
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing this. We have given it a lot of thought about whether to return to Singapore and every time I thought of that, I'll literally break into cold sweat thinking about how we can manage childcare and us adjusting to the hectic lifestyle we had before coming to London.
I can totally empathise with you. While being close to one's family can be a major help, it brings another set of headaches as well.
Well, all the best to you and hope that you'll find a place of your own soon (if you've not already!).
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