@36 weeks

It's a waiting game now...I am going to see the gynae again next week when I am 37 weeks and the we'll see how it goes...wait for it to naturally happen or just induce the birth on 5th March which is the 1st day of the 2nd Lunar month and it's suppose to be an auspicious day. Anyway, we'll see how it goes from next week.

I have put on so much weight that I feel like I am carrying 2 bags of rice each weighing 10kgs 24/7 everyday! I have put on 23 kg since the beginning of the IVF cycle which started in June 2010. My due date is estimated to be 16th March 2011 which is 4 weeks away but I have a feeling that I will have an earlier delivery...or rather I hope that I will have an earlier delivery say maybe 2 weeks later as I am really tired of being pregnant now...I am still having heartburns and I find it really difficult to get into a comfortable enough position for a good night sleep.

Anyway, I am taking it easy at work now, going in later and going off earlier than the stipulated working time at my company. I am grateful that I do not have a direct boss breathing down my neck everyday and I am definitely glad that I am given trust and freedom to do my job at my own pace.

@ 35 weeks

I am getting restless now...just 3 to 4 more weeks to go but I am getting too big for a comfortable sleep every night and the baby's movements are getting more painful for me as well. I am eager to get over with it but at the same time, I am apprehensive about having another baby to take care of...my MIL is going to be the main care-taker for this baby when I go back to work but I am not sure if I am totally comfortable with that. I am regretful for having my mum take care of my other older children, I wish I had spent more time with them when they were young and I am very sorry for not being there for them most of the time for the past 5.5 years when I was working in HK. I hope that I won't regret again this time!

Baby is doing fine in my womb, his head is big for his gestational age and yet his body is not big and his legs are not long too...I think it's in the genes of his daddy. Anyway, I think the earliest that I am going to deliver this baby will be 5th March, 11 days earlier than the calculated due date for him. I may either induce birth or I may just wait for it to happen, which ever way, I am thinking if I need to have epidural this time...I am not young anymore, I wonder if I can take the pain as well as I had the last 2 times when I was less than 30 years old. The needle for epidural is very scary and I really hope that there are other alternatives...something that doesn't involve needles will be best. Most of my friends have epidurals during their labour and they said it was a blessing...I might as well try it this time?

Things at work is boring without the travelling and I am still struggling to set targets for my unit and deciding on the jobscope for my assistant. My boss has more or less agreed to me having an assistant, especially during my maternity leave but I don't know what kind of jobscope to give him and what targets! I am struggling with my own jobscope as I don't have a clear direction from my boss...*sigh*. Maybe own time own target is good, but it will definitely be helpful if I can have some guidance. Anyway, I really got to seriously think about it soon...